Burger Quest :: Holstein’s

Not sure if it’s due to my childhood years growing up in Cali’s Central Valley, but for decades I’ve had a dear love for cows. Dairy cows were my favorite, my fondness for them sealed after a class trip to the farm where I got up close and personal with pent-up cattle in all their glorious and turdy funk. For years, I kept on my dresser the pressed and cubed hunk of cud we got to take home as swag.

While I’m not as obsessed as I once was (thanks to my husband, who put an immediate halt to my plans to countrify and cowify our kitchen), this cow girl had to try a place called Holstein’s after hearing about it. On my recent trip to Vegas, I added it to the Burger Quest list, convincing my youngest to choose it for her birthday meal.

If this quest were all about aesthetics, Holstein’s would rule, a funky little space in a red-hot hotel, the Cosmopolitan (also home to Hidden/Secret Pizza and Wicked Spoon). They also have a nice set of pickings, with options to satisfy the various assortments you might have with you on a Vegas vacation. At our table, we had plain sliders, wings, boozy shakes, and a blackened salmon po’ boy.

But I’m all about the burgers. I ordered the California Turkey (I wouldn’t dare order a beef burger at a place called Holstein’s – awkward!), with avocado, sprouts, pepperjack cheese, slaw, and Russian dressing. I had pretty high expectations, which I’d have to say were met. The bun was lofty (though not as soft as I prefer) and cradled a dense and flavorful turkey patty, rich avocado and a tangy slaw providing a hearty balance. Only problem is my Quest list is pretty well stacked with some amazing burgers. Even those on the bottom are rather phenomenal in my book.

So how well did my Holstein’s burger compete?

Official Dianderthal Burger Quest Burger List:
1. Hawkins House of Burgers turkey burger with everything (mayo, mustard, pickles, tomato, red onion, lettuce), cheese added
2. PCB (Plan Check Burger) at Plan Check with americanized dashi cheese, ketchup leather, schmaltz onions, mixed pickles, crunch bun
3. 25 Degrees Number One Burger (turkey subbed for beef) with caramelized onions, crescenza, prelibato gorgonzola, bacon, arugula, thousand island
4. Father’s Office Burger with arugula, caramelized onions, Gruyere, applewood bacon, and maytag blue cheese
5. Island’s California Flyer turkey burger (BBQ sauce, “Island Reds” – fried onion straws, pepper jack cheese, lettuce, tomato & mayo)
6.Golden State turkey burger with provolone, lettuce, tomato, red onion, aioli, and ketchup, (added grilled onions)
7. Holstein’s California Turkey Burger with sprouts, tomato, avocado, cucumber claw, pepperjack cheese, and Russian dressing
8. Yeah! Burger (Make It Your Own – turkey patty, whole wheat bun, pepper jack cheese, sriracha mayo, ketchup, grilled onions, honey mustard)
9. The Habit (Veggie burger made like a Charburger, with mayo, pickle, tomato, lettuce, caramelized onions, cucumber, and sprouts)
10. The Counter (Build Your Own – turkey patty, grilled onions, cheddar cheese, chipotle aioli, ketchup)
11. Burger City Grill (The BCG, turkey patty, pickles, grilled onions)

Fry Factor
1. Island’s fries with ranch dressing
2. Golden State fried sweet potato wedges with garlic aioli (and a few with curry ketchup)
3. Holstein’s sweet potato fries
4. 25 Degrees Half & Half (sweet potato and regular fries)
5. Father’s Office sweet potato fries with blue cheese aioli
6. The Counter 50-50 fries (half regular, half sweet Ps)
7. The Habit french fries
8. Plan Check sweet potato waffle fries and regular fries
9. Burger City Grill fries
10. Yeah! Burger sweet potato fries
11. Hawkins House of Burgers fries

Holstein’s Las Vegas
3708 Las Vegas Boulevard South in the Cosmopolitan