This one’s been a long time coming. I’ve enjoyed a burger or two from LA’s oft-celebrated Umami franchise in the past but until recently hadn’t had one while officially on my Quest. It may have been on purpose in the beginning as I felt this spot had really changed the burger game for me. In a good way – despite my displeasure with them for not allowing any sort of modifications or customization (you can ask for an ingredient to be left off, but then you feel slightly guilty), each Umami I’ve eaten has brought me great joy, similar to the births of my children.
So I avoided Umami early in my Quest so as not to bias my process. I wanted to forget Umami temporarily – to keep my taste buds clean so they could really discriminate when it came time to issue judgment. My burger this weekend was worth the wait.
My order was the same as it’s been in the past – the Spicy Bird, a choice off their secret menu. More or less a turkey version of their Hatch Burger, the Spicy Bird is a delectable compilation of house spread, chilies, onion strings, and beer cheddar (beer cheddar!) on a scrumptious turkey patty. On all occasions past, I haven’t let the sandwich live up to its name, ordering my Spicy Bird sans chilies, my taste buds somewhat reticent to test the heat. But the buds now take risks they didn’t two years ago. And I was chillin’ with a drink after four days of volleyball (my kid, not me), with nothing left on my day’s agenda but a trip to Disneyland. I had to go hot or go home.
‘Twas a grand idea. The Umamis may have a point with their non-modification policy, us lay people screwing up their constructions with our omissions and additions and substitutions. Whereas typically I request a doggie box for the half of my burger I can’t finish, nothing remained on my plate this visit except for the grainy sands of cinnamon sugar that hadn’t stuck to my sweet potato fries.
Forgive me for going on about the non-burger elements of my meal, but I must. I must discuss my drink, for one – the Velvet Mule, a playful cousin of Moscow’s in town for the summer for some fun. Two sips in and I felt its effects deep in my gut, its fizziness packing quite an oomph. With its slight touch of mint, it pleased without being oversweet. This drink defined me at that very moment – cool, relaxed, sexy. (Delusional?) How often does your dinner cocktail do that?
And then there were fries. Sweet potato fries, one of the greatest culinary gifts of the 2010s, at least to Dianderthal. Sugared fries, really – simultaneously luscious and salty, and full of that feral sweet potato flavor that some fries lack once they’ve been deep fried. And these were made better, if you can believe it, by the rich and succulent sauces served alongside, the aioli being my new BFFF – Best French Fry Friend.
But we do return to the burger. And the Quest. The Spicy Bird certainly made its mark with this long awaited re-visit to Umami.
Official Dianderthal Burger Quest Burger List:
1. The Spicy Bird at Umami Burger.
2. Hawkins House of Burgers turkey burger with everything (mayo, mustard, pickles, tomato, red onion, lettuce), cheese added
3. The Chianina Burger at Working Class Kitchen with cheese
4. PCB (Plan Check Burger) at Plan Check with americanized dashi cheese, ketchup leather, schmaltz onions, mixed pickles, crunch bun
5. 25 Degrees Number One Burger (turkey subbed for beef) with caramelized onions, crescenza, prelibato gorgonzola, bacon, arugula, thousand island
6. Burger Lounge’s Free Range Turkey Burger, served Lounge Style with organic white cheddar, grilled onion, lettuce, tomato, and house-made 1000 Island
7. Father’s Office Burger with arugula, caramelized onions, Gruyere, applewood bacon, and maytag blue cheese
8. Island’s California Flyer turkey burger (BBQ sauce, “Island Reds” – fried onion straws, pepper jack cheese, lettuce, tomato & mayo)
9.Golden State turkey burger with provolone, lettuce, tomato, red onion, aioli, and ketchup, (added grilled onions)
10. Oh My Burger BYOMB (Build Your Oh My Burger) turkey with OMB sauce, ketchup, pepper jack, and onion rings
11. Holstein’s California Turkey Burger with sprouts, tomato, avocado, cucumber claw, pepperjack cheese, and Russian dressing
12. Yeah! Burger (Make It Your Own – turkey patty, whole wheat bun, pepper jack cheese, sriracha mayo, ketchup, grilled onions, honey mustard)
13. The Habit (Veggie burger made like a Charburger, with mayo, pickle, tomato, lettuce, caramelized onions, cucumber, and sprouts)
14. The Counter (Build Your Own – turkey patty, grilled onions, cheddar cheese, chipotle aioli, ketchup)
15. Burger City Grill (The BCG, turkey patty, pickles, grilled onions)
16. The Dallas at Bobby’s Burger Palace – spice crusted ground turkey patty with coleslaw, jack cheese, BBQ sauce, and pickles
Fry Factor
1. Island’s fries with ranch dressing
2. Sweet potato fries at Umami Burger
3. Golden State fried sweet potato wedges with garlic aioli (and a few with curry ketchup)
4. Working Class Kitchen’s frites
5. Burger Lounge’s fries with house-made Ranch
6. Holstein’s sweet potato fries
7. 25 Degrees Half & Half (sweet potato and regular fries)
8. Father’s Office sweet potato fries with blue cheese aioli
9. The Counter 50-50 fries (half regular, half sweet Ps)
10. Oh My Burger sweet potato fries
11. The Habit french fries
12. Plan Check sweet potato waffle fries and regular fries
13. Bobby’s Burger Palace sweet potato fries
14. Burger City Grill fries
15. Yeah! Burger sweet potato fries
16. Hawkins House of Burgers fries
Umami Burger
338 S. Anaheim Blvd. in Anaheim and plenty of other Cali locations as well as Vegas, Chi-Town, and the NYC